6/6/14

DIATRIBE: I fucking hate dropper caps.


The name of this blog was imported from my original blog, a tumblr. I created that tumblr as a means for my angry outbursts. I have a hot temper, and a lot of things piss me off. Most of the time, nobody really wants to listen to my cussing, so my diatribe tumblr was born.
diatribe (n.) - a forceful and bitter verbal attack against someone or something.
It eventually morphed into a perfume review blog because I somehow ended up writing more about things that make me happy rather than things that piss me off. When I made the switch to blogger, I kept the name and the subject matter--indie perfume and makeup--but ever since the creation of these blogs, I really haven't talked shit about anything. Here is the first post that will tap back into my original reason for blogging--TALKING SHIT--all while still being related to my current content, indie products.

WARNING: Contains intense, vulgar language.

I love indie perfume. If you read my blog at all, you can probably figure that out by now. However, there's one thing that always pisses me the fuck off when it comes to indie scents: dropper caps.

OH MY GOD, I hate them. I loathe those shitty caps from hell. 

I'm talking about these caps. By the way I still need to post about these. Baltus smells gooood.

First of all, these caps are ugly as fuck. They make the whole bottle look a lot cheaper and shittier. They come with a safety seal to make them look like they're all new and unused blah blah, but it just makes it look like a cheap plastic soda bottle cap. I always cut off the safety seal because after opening, the seal just hangs there looking like a fucking eyesore and it MAKES ME ENRAGED.

HISSSSSSSSS

They also greatly hinder application. I like to put a quarter size blob of oil on my wrist but this dropper cap just COCK BLOCKS ME FROM MY APPLICATION. I have to hold it steady for a bit above my skin and let it drop on me, and then there's no way to control that drop either. So although these fucking dumbshit caps are supposed to help make application easier and less prone to accidents (e.g. spilling the whole bottle), for me personally, application gets more complicated than it has to be.

HATE THESE DUMBASS CAPS

On top of that, the caps themselves (the black part that you screw onto the bottle) ARE NEVER AIR TIGHT. While the bottle are in transit, even as the fucking stupid safety seals are intact, the bottle are continuously (stupidly) dropping precious perfume into the cap, so every bottle I ever get in this format will always have a huge pool of fragrance in the cap when I open it for the first time. Sometimes it gets so bad that the fragrance oil has leaked all over the fucking place inside the package. THIS IS THE WORST PART.

THEY LEAK. 

THEY FUCKING LEAK LIKE CRAZY. 

THE OILS GET WASTED BATHING THE INSIDE OF THE PACKAGES, AND THEY RUIN THE LABELS. 

I actually have to wrap labels with tape in order to make them less prone to damage, but still, I've had MANY bottles that arrived with FUCKED UP labels due to the incompetence of these fucking stupid dropper caps allowing oils to get all over the goddamn place.

I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT.

FUCK YOU

So what is a GOOD cap in my opinion? There are three options THAT I THINK ALL PERFUMERS SHOULD USE. (I LITERALLY AM HESITANT TO BUY FROM PLACES THAT HAVE DROPPER CAPS UNLESS I KNOW THAT THEY HAVE GOOD SHIT.)

Plastic cone-lined phenolic caps. Pictured: Arcana Queen Crossbones

Those cone-lined phenolic caps. Those are golden. They NEVER leak and they're aesthetically pleasing. LOOK AT THIS FUCKING ARCANA BOTTLE. LOOK HOW MUCH MORE CLASSY AND EXPENSIVE IT LOOKS THAN THE PREVIOUSLY SHOWN SHITTY BOTTLES.

Roller bottle caps. Pictured: RIPE Turkish Blackberry Mocha

Roller bottles are also great. I fucking hate those dropper caps so much that I actually bought 20 empty roller bottles off of ebay a few years ago to decant my favorite scents into SO THAT I CAN THROW AWAY THOSE FUCKING DROPPER BOTTLES AND BURN THEM IN THE FIRES OF HELL FOREVER. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND MORE MONEY TO MAKE THINGS CONVENIENT FOR ME.

Foam insert-lined phenolic caps. Pictured: Aelfwine Botanicals Catrina

These are fine too. These caps usually have a foam pad in them to make them airtight. These aren't the most ideal because the foam insert usually falls out (the oils dissolve the glue), but they're still better than those dropper caps of shit.

Thus,

PUBLIC FUCKING SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALL INDIE FRAGRANCE SHOPS:

STOP USING FUCKING DUMBASS DROPPER CAPS. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

NOTE: This rant was sparked by the bottle change that Sarawen recently went through. She had perfectly beautiful, working, square glass bottles with phenolic caps lined with foam inserts, and then she went and fucked it up and changed to amber glass boston round dropper cap bottles. WHY.

Anyway, I promise I'll be writing reviews once finals are over. I have something like 40 fragrances to show y'all. Stay tuned!

3 comments:

  1. A-FUCKING-MEN. I love my Alkemia perfumes, but I can't use that shit without accidentally dripping it all over myself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi


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    ReplyDelete

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